The Impostor Complex: A key to inner peace and business success
The Impostor Complex: A key to inner peace and business success
One thing holding experienced women in business back from being fully seen online is the Impostor Complex.
There is nothing new about that term. You’ve heard it before, along with the landmark study done back in 1978 showing the high rates of Impostor Complex among high achieving women. That study has since been complimented with a new study in 2019 showing how both women and men are deeply affected by it, but men are less likely to want to talk about it leading many to think “it’s just a girl thing”.
However, I have found that there are 8 pillars to this Impostor Complex. This gives my clients a clear road map to follow in our work together. This is so powerful. This inner work can feel very nebulous, vague and mysterious. It’s helpful to have a step by step process!
To illustrate these 8 pillars I have a short story for you.
Can you relate?
“One day Susan started 1. PROCRASTINATING on creating some video’s for her promotions campaign. She started to feel a bit apprehensive to put them out there. Before long she could feel all the idea’s and actions were piling up in her head. She was feeling 2. OVERWHELMED.
Then, on queue, her 3. INNER CRITIC jumped in and started prodding her with self doubt thoughts. “Who do you think you are?!?! Why did you think that was a good idea? No one’s going to watch those anyways.”
Little did she know she was slowly but surely developing a case of the 4. IMPOSTOR COMPLEX.
Over time it started to feel almost normal to be 5. PLAYING SMALL. She started getting deep into her other work, and honestly pushing a bit to make up for where she was holding back. She knew that playing smalll was really just a way to stay safe. She was beginning to really resent the fact that she wasn’t fully 6. OWNING HER EXPERTISE. She could feel it, she was hiding.
To ease the internal tension she unconsciously gave into 7. PEOPLE PLEASING + OVER GIVING, thinking it would help, but it didn’t. It just gave her a much bigger to do list and she became more exhausted. Pushing even more now to make up for all the lost time.
Then one day she realized she had even developed crappy 8. BOUNDARIES. She had to drop commitments that were important to her, limit her time in specific area’s and say many No’s that she didn’t want to say. She could see herself snap back emotionally sometimes at people who had “Crossed her boundaries”, but she knew it was more to do with her then them.
Looking back Susan realized that through all of of this the worst part was, she had lost a part of herself.”
Does any of the above sound familiar for your journey of what led you to this page today?
As I mentioned, I call these the “8 Pillars of the Impostor Complex”
The 8 Pillars of The Impostor Complex
What if procrastination, fear or playing were not the gatekeepers to your greatness, but the gateway?
The 8 Pillars I shared above are all the painful places you could be stuck on your journey to fully shining your light and owning your expertise online.
These 8 Pillars give us a map and a frame work, the step by step road map that all successful people enjoy. With my private clients I give them a specific belief clearing process to accompany each of these 8 Pillars, so that they never get lost again.
And, I don’t stop there.
These 8 Pillars are the starting place for some powerful and magical work. This framework gives the container for profound moments where everything stops, and I can ask that one key question that destroys limitations.
What is the best way to navigate and clear the Impostor Complex?
The 3 ways to navigate the Impostor Complex
On your own.
You can navigate these 8 Pillars on your own. You’ve been doing it till now just fine.
This often looks like reading a book, taking a specific free course, or going for a walk in the woods to support yourself at critical moments. This is a solid choice that many women choose.
The challenge with this approach is that you could end up getting lost in your own head, fears and lack of self belief. And you could be lost there for a very long time. I call this “The cave” and I talk about it in more detail below.
If you’ve been in the cave for awhile, and you are ready to move out. Read on!
The DIY approach.
This looks like taking programs and courses where you have little to no one on one support with the actual leader of the course. You might get to ask questions in the community, or there is a group call, or possibly a coach that the leader has trained.
This can work extremely well for the right kind of time and person. If you are great at sticking to a schedule, if you don’t hide out much, if you have a lot of the pieces sorted out and just need some accountability to take this thing home, this is a great option.
The down side is that you don’t have an expert in your back pocket. An expert that you meet with, one on one, who call call you on your shit, to your face. This means you could keep hiding, and not identifying the real beliefs, the true lie’s you’ve been telling yourself.
3. Hire an expert, one on one.
You know the power of having the right coach, or consultant, in your corner. You have experienced it before.
This is especially true when it comes to being willing to be fully seen online and scale your business. There are so many places to hide! There is so much busy work, (*ahem* ”Important work”) to be done.
The downfall of this is it’s often more expensive. The other down side is that you really REALLY have to check for fit before hiring anyone. In a group program if you start loosing that warm fuzzy feeling for the leader, you can focus on the work. Not so with the one on one approach. That is why its crucial too make sure that this person is the one for you.
The upside, and I feel its a BIG upside which is why this is my favourtie way, is that you get results. You get full attention on you. You get someone right there, in your corner, just for you.
If you read option 1 and are done hiding in “The cave”. This next part is for you.
If you are in option 3 and you feel we might be a good fit, this next part is also for you.
If you read option 2 and would like my recommendation on some excellent group programs that could be a great fit, please click here for my top recommendations depending on what stage of business you are at.
You are done hiding. You are ready to be seen.
I call this “The Cave and The Light”
The Cave and the light
Your journey to scaling your business, being confident to be seen as you online, is like walking through a dark cave.
You can see that there is a light at the end. That is the destination. You want to get there.
But often you stumble. Often you stub your toe. It’s frustrating.
Maybe you’ve been working your way out of the same cave your whole life. The old patterns keeping you feeling stuck and unable to be seen online just won’t go away even though you know they are based in un-supportive beliefs and stories.
Or maybe this is your 5th cave and you are getting pretty good at this cave journey thing. But you still feel lost sometimes. We are all in a cave at one time or other.
Either way, you often find yourself crawling, half blind, poking in the dark, to identify what is in your way so that you can get through this cave a bit faster.
Who is amazing in caves?
Who loves caves?
Who can see in the dark?
Who can Identify all those stumbling blocks and use sonar to guide you out of the cave?
A bat!
I’m Batman!
Yes, I’ve always wanted to say that!
So when a client once described me like that, like a Bat with sonar that could see and hear in the dark what was blocking her, I was excited to say the least!
I am like a bat - The Gift of Claire Audience.
I have the gift of Claire Audience. This means I can hear when things are energetically off. I can ask you questions and based on the energy of your answers, I will know if you are telling the truth (your truth) or not.
I’m like a bat with Sonar. I can hear when you are lying.
This helps me quickly identify what beliefs, stories and self lies are in your way, so that you don’t have to spend so much time stumbling in the dark.
You will find your way with or without me. And I would love to save you some bruised toes and frustration along your journey!