So, you failed miserably! Now what? (Emergency turnaround tools!)
Have you ever tried to accomplish something that was much bigger than you thought you could? One of those kinds of goals that require you to grow, stretch, and even become a whole new person?
We’ve all had moments in life when we’re ready to take the next step. We spend months preparing for it and then we GO FOR IT 110%.
And then it doesn’t work.
It flops so hard, it’s like kids at the lake in summer and then one kid does the biggest loudest belly flop.
OUCH! That must have hurt!
Yes, yes it does. It hurts badly.
Oh well, no big deal, you’ll just learn and keep moving forward. Right?
WRONG!
I don’t know about you, but that’s usually when my brain jumps at the opportunity to remind me of just how much of a loser I still am.
All those years of trying and failing, trying and failing, come back in a flood. You’re barely holding on to your sanity and civility and then you can’t hold on anymore and you snap a little.
Of course, this is never at a convenient time. It’s never on a calm Sunday night when you have time to process. Nope. It happens 20 minutes before a scheduled session. Or exactly when you have to leave to make a major client meeting.
OH CRAP!
So, what do you do?
I’ll tell you in a minute. First, a question:
Have you ever been triggered by something in your life or business that then shove you back into some old, shitty reality you thought you left behind? Something like _______________ (Fill in the blank with your most un-supportive thought pattern; eg: I’m a total loser and screw up)?
I’ve had that happen exactly. But to make matters worse, I had a paying client in 20 minutes!
Pressure? Yes.
Stress? Yes.
My specialty? … well, it never used to be, but I feel I’ve gotten much better at it. Here is one of my strategies.
First, the trigger happens. It doesn’t really matter what it was. (I say there is usually no point in trying to avoid triggers because then you give them all your energy, I prefer to clear the triggers to live a more expansive life!) Once you’re triggered, you’re triggered. Here are the steps I follow to move past that trigger when this happens to me.
Step 1: Reach out.
Find people in your life you can reach to and let them know you’re diving off the deep end. When this happens to me, I text 3 different friends who do energy work, as well as my own energy guy, to book some times to clear up what’s going on.
Step 2: Go to a trusted resource.
If you can get to the source of the triggering message (for example, “I’m a worthless failure”), find a video or blog post you can read that helps to address that. The last time I went through this, I watched a mindfulness video by Mark Waldman about overcoming fear. I had watched it before and knew it was gold. I had it ready, though. I didn’t just start trying to find a video about overcoming fear randomly on YouTube.
Step 3: Do a “Take 6” session with yourself.
This is a technique from the latest in neuroscience research, which just confirms what we’ve always known: when you’re triggered and in a stressful state you need to BREATHE. Specifically, take 6 long slow breaths.
Step 4: Shift my language around the “3 Ps”.
The three “Ps” are Personalization, Permanence, and Pervasiveness. They were created by psychologist Martin Seligman and are used in the practice of positive psychology. Essentially, how we think of ourselves in these three categories when we speak to ourselves shapes how we view the world. Shifting the things we say to ourselves when we’ve been triggered can be key to shifting out of that mindset. It’s awesome. Check out a video on it here.
Step 5: Laugh.
Find something you know always makes you laugh and do it. Watch a funny cat video. Look at a meme that never fails to get a giggle. In my case, I know that Honest Trailers on YouTube will always make me laugh, so that’s where I go when I need a good solid laugh to shake me out of a bad state (or when I just need a laugh).
Step 6: Get back to life.
Whether you’re feeding the baby or getting out the door to that client meeting, life goes on. And getting back to it isn’t just the right thing to do, it’s healing as well.
Try these six steps the next time you’re in need of a quick turnaround and feel like the world is closing in on you. I’d love to hear what things are work well for you!
Do you wish you could have a massive failure, and rebound faster and faster, sometimes within moments? I can help. Book your FREE “Clear what’s in the way” energy healing session with me and we will clear what comes up for you around your specific trigger.